"If writers possess a common temperament, it's that they tend to be shy egomaniacs; publicity is the spotlight they suffer for the recognition they crave." Gail Caldwell, from her book "Let's Take The Long Way Around"

"To look life in the face, always to look life in the face and to know it for what it is. At last to know it, to love it for what it is, and then, to put it away. . .always the years. Always the love. Always the hours." From the movie "The Hours", based on the book of the same name by Michael Cunningham

"Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly." Baz Luhrman, "Everybody's Free (to wear sunscreen)"

"A writer can do nothing for men more necessary, satisfying, than just simply to reveal to them the infinite possibility of their own souls." Walt Whitman

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant or talented?’ Actually, who are you not to be?” Marianne Williamson

Saturday, August 10, 2013

Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway

I've been drinking too much coffee lately.  I know, some of you may say there is no such thing!  But really I have.  I have learned over the years that I much prefer the ritual of drinking coffee over the actual beverage.  In general, that is.  I mean, I do need the caffeine jolt for caffeine's sake at least once a day.

Anyway, I'm struggling right now with writing.  I haven't been blogging because I am working on another project, a long-term project we'll call it, and it is requiring that I write something a little more formal than a blog entry.  This something requires that I define myself, my life, my writing in the space of 2 double-spaced pages.  Where to start?  I am 43 years old now, one would think that with age and life experience, this would come easy, certainly much easier than it might have 25 years ago; and yet I am finding that all this life experience and knowledge is convoluting my thought process and the words are not flowing.  There is something about being young and innocent and on the verge of real life that either makes this kind of project easier; or perhaps the audience is more forgiving.

So I'm using my blog to clear my thoughts right now, to get the cobwebs out.  I'm tired.  Work puts a strain on my brain when my brain could be put to better use, I think.  I'm still reading voraciously.  I feel like lately I can't get enough.  I registered for an online writing class that I've done before (not the same class, same leader though).  So. . .that's good, I think.

Is it my perfectionism that is interfering with my thought process?  Am I trying to hard, or are my expectations too high?  My sister talked to me last night and reminded me that the best thing I could do is just be myself.  That and to not let fear hold me back from doing something I really want to do.  She is so wise, my little sis, with such good advice, that I had to smile while talking to her.  She has such a pure heart, my best friend since I was 5 years old.  When I think about all we've been through together. . .no one could know me as well as she does.  So she is right.  Don't let the fear hold you back.  That, and nothing worth doing was ever easy.  Somebody said that once.

So here I go.

No comments:

Post a Comment