"If writers possess a common temperament, it's that they tend to be shy egomaniacs; publicity is the spotlight they suffer for the recognition they crave." Gail Caldwell, from her book "Let's Take The Long Way Around"

"To look life in the face, always to look life in the face and to know it for what it is. At last to know it, to love it for what it is, and then, to put it away. . .always the years. Always the love. Always the hours." From the movie "The Hours", based on the book of the same name by Michael Cunningham

"Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly." Baz Luhrman, "Everybody's Free (to wear sunscreen)"

"A writer can do nothing for men more necessary, satisfying, than just simply to reveal to them the infinite possibility of their own souls." Walt Whitman

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant or talented?’ Actually, who are you not to be?” Marianne Williamson

Saturday, September 11, 2010

A Few Words About My Mom

My mom, Patricia Robinson, is an amazing woman.  I know that I have spent a lot of time so far in my life story focusing on my dad.  I think that is partly because the early years (year?) of the separation and divorce, my dad was the primary parent because we lived with him.  But I have so much admiration for my mom, for being strong enough to move out on her own, to work and go to school as much as possible, to establish herself and prepare herself for a life she didn't intend on.  I've been there, in the starting over place.  It's not easy and it's not fun.  I have never doubted my mother's love and devotion to her children.  I have some very touching memories of her that I'll share later on.  I am in awe that she, like most single parents, are able to go to a full time job and then come home and immediately have to take care of the three kids clamoring for her attention.  You will be amazed, too, when you learn what else she had to go through.  Sometimes I feel deep down that I am my father's daughter, and that helps keep me close to him; but there are many more times that I find myself - or catch myself - doing exactly what my mom would do.  We are soul sisters in a spiritual way and share the common experience of being the oldest child, trying to be perfect, taking care of her family, making sure everyone else is okay.  If it weren't so annoyingly dysfunctional, it would be almost comical the way we codependently try to accommodate each other.  Throw my sister into the mix and it's just a mess:  the old "I want to do what you want to do, except I really do have an opinion so let's hash it out for twenty minutes and then make sure that everyone's okay with each other and the decision that has been made." 

My mom has been there for me at times when I can't imagine she had the energy to even feed us.  She is an amazing seamstress, a lover of books, a new age thinker and philosopher of life.  She is a survivor.  She taught me early, early on that decisions have consequences; that when faced with a difficult decision, the best question to ask is "what's the worst that can happen?"  If you can live with the worst, then you can't really go wrong.  And finally, perhaps the least responsible philosophy, but one that's helped me through some hard financial times is this:  there is no debtor's prison.

That's my mom and I love her.

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